Yay God!

Let's see here. I can't lie. I've had a few of the best/worst days of my life. The best part is really knowing that Jesus is all that I need and that He will provide all my needs. The worst part is that I'm coming to that conclusion because I haven't been sleeping. And when I say I haven't been sleeping, I'm not exaggerating. Not only have I been having a really rough month or so, followed by what I thought was an improvement, but then, last night after a valiant attempt to go to bed at 11pm, I never ended up falling asleep. And the two nights before that were about 4 hours (so I suppose it could be worse.) And I'll admit it, I'm tired, And I'm tired of being tired. And being female, when I'm tired I'm emotional. So, I haven't exactly been feeling myself and I could use a good night's rest. And after not sleeping well for several nights, I start to get scared about going to bed and the nighttime, believe it or not. But, I do know that God is with me all 8 of those hours when I'm laying in my bed or on the couch not sleeping. He knows I'm not sleeping, and for some reason has not granted me any sleep yet. And it's easy for me to get frustrated with God. He's totally in control, yet I'm awake and exhausted. But, as cheesy as it sounds, I know He's really teaching me somehing through all of this. I wish He would have chosen a different method, but that's probably why He DID choose to take this part of my life I thought I had control of. To show me that I need HIM SOOOOO much more than I need sleep. Or anything else for that matter. But, I've always been the person that wanted to get plenty of sleep. Well, that's definitly not happenning now. And even though I'm more tired than I've ever felt before and my life feels completely out of balance, and I don't even know what steps to take to go in the right direction, I'm going to praise God. I've learned (err... am learning) that no matter what happens or how bad a situation seems, God is still to be glorified and praised. He is allowing bad to happen to me, and He has a reason. It's practically impossible for my silly, little human brain to comprehend, but I do know that I sure feel a lot better when I'm praising God for the good AND the bad, then when I sit around complaining. But, I won't lie again here. Even though I'm grateful for this lesson, I wish God would kind of finish teaching it to me... I would like to get back to sleeping again.... But, I'm reminded of what Paul said in 1 Corinthians, "And my God will meet all of your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus." I suppose I have to just keep saying that verse over and over to myself. He knows what I need and will give it to me. And I have to be grateful for that.
Ok... sorry for all of the rambling. Actually, I'm not even sure any one reads this, so I might just be apologizing to myself! Anyway, these are my random thoughts for now. And I could sure use some prayer!! (as a side note :)